Endlessly

2005-02-02T02:00:00.000+11:00

Currently Listening to: Pieces of Me - Ashlee Simpson

Well as i sit here and have this song on repeat coz i absolutly love it, i blanked out for a bit and listened to the lyrics. Im a corney way, im thinking of my bf. Corney but good way i guess.The lyrics reminds me of the crap we go through and how he makes me feel.
But other then being able to relate to the song, i love it and its one of the songs i could mellow out to and jst chill and not get sick of it.. here's the lyrics...

Pieces Of Me

On a Monday,
I am waiting Tuesday,
I am fading And by Wednesday,
I can't sleep Then the phone rings,
I hear you And the darkness is a clear view
Cuz you've come to rescue me
Fall... With you, I fall so fast
I can hardly catch my breath, I hope it lasts

[Chorus:]
Ohhhhh It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you know me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

I am moody, messy
I get restless, and it's senseless
How you never seem to care
When I'm angry, you listen
Make me happy it's a mission
And you won't stop til I'm there
Fall... Sometimes I fall so fast
When I hit that bottom Crash, you're all I have

[Chorus:]
Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you known me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

How do you know everything I'm about to say?
Am I that obvious?And if it's written on my face...I hope it never goes away... yeah
On a Monday, I am waiting
And by Tuesday, I am fading into your arms...So I can breathe

[Chorus:]
Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you've know me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
Ohhhhh
I love how you can tell
Ohhhhh
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me...

Nice lyrics huh?
I love it ... Makes me think of how much my baby means to me not jst as my boyfriend but as my best friend. He made me realise some stuff even before there was an " us " and im glad we ended up together.
From how he acts when its jst the 2 of us and even when we're around friends, he doesnt change. To how he makes me laugh so much over the stoopid stories and adventures he has and goes on..or jst being his normal dopey self. Remember the " bird " bubz? LOLz How he doesnt like me worrying over him, to how he tries to make it up to me after and fight and get things back to the way they were before the arguments started.
When i see him out with his friends and i see him laughing and acting stoopid or seeing his friends pick on him [ hahahahaha and i love seeing him get tortured by them LOLZ ].
I think of how he is around ppl and how being himself is wat made me like him so much. Though back then this guy really use to piss me off that id log offline and then hear my fone ring and never stop ringing and then see its him calling and then asking me to get back online to talk coz his tight azz time is over... and if i dnt get on... ill receive a msg saying to get online and ill have too and then in a matter of 10 minutes after logging back on again, im saying sorry.
I really cant stay mad at him for long and he knws it.Its his dopey self that attracted me to him more then his looks..though he knws how much i think his adorable...esp. when his a sleep and he always catches me giggle at him hahaha. Im glad i didnt snob him when i met him at subbies.. u better be glad i didnt too babe or im gna kick ur azz so bad! LOLz

Although i admit it... i can be a bitch and stuff :\ but hey sorry...u knw i mean it when i say im sorry... but then when is a relationship ever perfect? Everyone and every relationship has its ups and downs and im happy that even though im almost to the point of giving up, you always seem to assure me that no matter what ur gna be there for me and tell me that your feelings havent changed and tell me that i shdnt give up on things jst like that. Im glad my jeddy didnt change much while i was overseas. Sorry for doubting and thinking bad shit. You knw the reasons and again im sorry... im glad that ur my sped and that i can turn to u about anything and everything even though it may take me a while to tell you but you knw ill tell you eventually.You knw how i really feel about you and jst as scared as u are bubz.But like u said while i was over seas... giving it time is the best option and im glad we're on the same level there...no rush, jst take things as they come and we can get through crap together and deal with them when they come. Thx also for encouraging me to do the things i wna do. Even from the start you did and greatful...i took one of ur advices which was to be honest and open about how i felt towards ppl... i did that when i first told you how i felt about you... even though it was through a song :\ and i logged off...i did it anyways...i have no regrets about anything and everything we've been through. Thx again babe!!
I cant wait to see you soon babe.
Ill see you at trans red bubz and sorry if i tease you about ur shuffling and it annoys u and if it does ill stop but when u tell me...LOLz its jst u babe... u hate this but i have to say it... ur so cute....till trans red and the next time we speak to each other... tccic and i miss u sped head!!! mwahz...
your spedlet - jOjo xoxoxo

2005-02-01T13:23:00.000+11:00

Currently: On msn chatting and bored as hell...

Well its been a pretty ok week...minus a few arguments with some group of ppl which i didnt wna get involved in but being a friend i told them im here for them to talk to and listen to them.
Other then that, been feeling kinda jaded. The reason why!? I have no idea...i guess iv had alot on my mind lately and probably really need to get out or im jst use to going out every night like i did in phils. Right now who knws coz i dnt even.

But anyways, not much has really happened... other then i found out that a friend has posed in a magazine naked and won $500... i wonder wat her bf would say... kinda no respect for herself aye?
I think jed would kick me then dis-own me forever if i did something like that. Its jst wrong.
Its kinda degrading urself to right?!I mean its kinda desperate too yea? If she needed the money she could have gone to anyone and asked for it...

Other then all that for some reason i miss my baby... i hate to like u but i like to hate u... you really are a big sped babe.. but yea glad we sortted all that crap out. :D its all good though we got through it and dats all... see ya soon babe mwahzzz!!!

2005-01-26T18:12:00.000+11:00

Currently: Waiting for some songs to finish DOWNLOADING...

Well i havent been blogging in a while and i thought might as well since this australia day crap is such a stoopid thing... so bored.This week hasnt been my week though...its been fckd and im starting to hate it bad... though what im feeling is absolute shit, oh well i guess its jst time AGAIN and PATIENCE AGAIN which im slowly starting to loose really bad and quickly.

Other then that... i was listening to a song the other day that i dedicate to my 2 sisters... i love you guys so much!! Always there for me ... lolz

South Border - Rainbow

Fallin' out, fallin' in Nothing's sure in this world no,
noBreakin' out, breakin' in
Never knowin' what lies ahead
We can really never tell it all
no, no, no
Say goodbye, say hello To a lover or friend
Sometimes we never could understand
Why some things begin then just end
We can really never tell it all no, no, no

But oh, can't you see
That no matter what happens
Life goes on and on So baby,
just/please smile Coz im always around you
And ill make you see how beautiful
Life is for you and me

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies color's Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There's a rainbow always after the rain
Ohh, whoa

Hittin' high, hittin' low
Win or lose you should go,
yeah yeah Getting warm, getting cold
Weather could be so good or bad
But baby this is life now don't get mad no, no, no
Coz oh, cant you see
That no matter what happens
Life goes on and onSo baby,
please smile
Coz im always around you
And ill make you see how beautiful
Life is for you and me

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies' colors
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There's a rainbow always after the rain

Life's full of challenges
Not all the time we get what we want
But don't despair my dear
coz I know now
You'll take each trial and you'll make it through the storm
Coz you're strong my faith in you is clear
So ill say once again this worlds wonderful and
Let us celebrate life that's so beautiful, so beautiful
Ohhhh

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies' colors
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There's a rainbow always after the rain

2005-01-19T17:14:00.000+11:00

Currently Listening to: How Could an Angel Brake my Heart - Toni Braxton

Who knows. Havent been able to sleep lately... and i keep changing my blog sites... LOLZ i guess its boredom.
This songs so depressing but such a good kareoke song. I miss them days.

But lately has been so fckd for me. Everythings not going right and i have no idea what the hell to do anymore.
Im angry, upset and blaming so much on myself.
I always think why the fck cdnt he take my life instead of Paulie's. My life is worth taking more then his. Yea this might sound so fcking sympathetic but its my blog and this is what im feeling.
Nothing seriously ever turns out for me and who knws if anything will ever work out.

Im just sick of being left in the dark and not being told whats going on or how he feels about anything.
All i ever asked for was to tell me what they feel and want and if its fixable, try get through.
I wouldnt bother with with anything if i knew it wasnt worth it all. But now, i ask myself constantly, is it ever worth it all!?I hate doubting, and makes me feel bad but if the other person isnt going to tell you anything and would rather do and think of other things, then is it ok for me to doubt?
Also is it a huge crime to tell someone how you feel!? I was always told to tell the other person how you feel, but for some reason now when i do it fcks up and then it starts. Thenthey say everythings fine. As if anythings fine. I know what i want and never doubted anything. If i started to id say something. But now it seems how i feel is wrong and i might aswell have no opinion and say in anything. Ill just sit back and pretend and make everyone think that its all good and nothing wrong and know inside that its not and lie to myself.

Do i still make you happy? Or did i ever? I have no idea what you really want anymore and i dont know what to think or do either. I can try and try to make things work out but i cant do it on my own. Im trying to be the best as i can but im only human and no ones perfect.To me you dont want to even try to make things work and i guess the more you dragg this on by not talking to me and ignoring it all the more you'll push me away coz you knw i can hold on till i cant i anymore. I dont want things to end just yet. You know how i feel and i guess its just up to you. Im sorry and you know for what reasons i am.Ill apologise again and again....
Should i keep trying or just give up?

Why cant things be easy to understand and sort out..
Why didnt he take my life instead of his?

2005-01-18T22:20:00.000+11:00

Currently Listening to: Like a Rose - A1

So bored right now....
But anyways..so much has happened while i was away. I never actually gave so much thought about what has happened. One minute everyone and everythings happy and then all of a sudden.. BOOM!All that happiness is gone and taken from us all.
I missed my friends so dearly while i was gone and tried to keep my head up to show my family overseas i was actually having fun. But once i got home from where ever i went that night and tried to sleep, id lay in bed and think why? or how the hell is everyone dealing with this tradgy back home. I just seriously wanted to go home. I didnt wna enjoy the rest of my holiday with my family. I just wanted to come home and hope it was just it was a huge joke but it wasnt.
I thought about it and remembered our last conversation on the msn and how he told me to go hard overseas and enjoy it as much as i can.So i tried. I tried to do it for him but no matter what when i got home and slept i would cry and ask god why did he take our friend/bf/brother away from us so soon.

Note to our One and Only good friend - Paul Thanh Nguyen
We miss you so much paulie and we'll never forget you. Thx for sharing the laughs and tears. Till we all meet again, watch over and guide us all with that sweet smile and laugh at all the funny stoopid things we will get up to.We love you bro!

R.I.P
Paul Thanh Nguyen
10:04:85 - 12:12:04

http://www.dearpaul.tk/ -
a site in Honour of the one and onli " nint "

On other things .... id just wanna thx my baby for coming all the way down to Wollongong and dragging Caz along with him to come pick me up when i got back from overseas.
Spending them 3 and a half days with you made up for not being with you for your bday, xmas and new yr. Hope you like your presents babe!! You fcking better coz its so hard to find decent shirts over there!!! They were all to big or bigger!!! For a country [ phils ] where the population of the country is made up of short azz mofo's they like wearing huge shirts!! The clothes and shoes were even harder for me to find but when i found things that actually fit me, gzz i went hardcore and bought as much as i could.Thx babe!! I owe you yet another one!

To my dear Lizzie - hey big sis!!! We know how much pain your going through and if i have to tell you over and over again and your probably sick of it too....
No matter what the hell the 3 of us go through, the other 2 are gna be on each side holding onto each other and helping each other through whatever the problem is. No matter how many temptations, Lisa and i are going to be with you all the way!!! We love you to much not to help!! To some out there reading this.. yea it may sound corney or full-on or even ' yea right sif they'll be there ' but serzly think what you guys wna think. I stick by my 2 sisters no matter what and Lizzie you knw that you dnt have to hesitate to call us naytime of the night/day jst to talk! Even if im in class, ill walk out if you need to talk. Ok maybe not if im sitting an exam but even a msg saying u need to talk you know we'll go out of our way to call you. We love you and always here for you.
We cant tell you what to do with your life, coz its yourz but no matter what decision you make, we're with you all the way.. 100000000000000000000000000000000000%. Hugz and Kisses babe!!

On my last note - See you guys all at Transmission Red on the 12:02:05 .
No excuses my raver friends.. this night is another night we'll never forget... to some maybe coz of yea.. but from the fotos we'll be taking that night... it will be added to one of our memorable nights...This Nights For you Paulie!!

Welcome Back to Me!

2005-01-18T19:24:00.000+11:00

Currently: Watching Home and Away

I have no idea why im watching this but i am. I guess its coz im really bored and have shit all to do or im jst really use to having Cable to watch over seas.
Anyways, not much to really say but yea... jst thought id open another blog since my site has died out and stuff.. LOLz ill find a new host soon. If im bothered. Till then send me the links to other pplz blogs so i can link it to this shit. LOLZ Tccic...
Love LiL me!! xoxoxo